I love this poster. My response is as follows:
Experienced Jedi seeks rewarding work as a town guard
After graduating from Hogwarts with honors, I pursued advanced studies at the Jedi Academy and achieved the rank of Jedi master. Following an internship on the Starship Enterprise, I secured a position with the Rebel Alliance and spent many years battling the Empire as a Jedi. During that time, I achieved recognition for bravery, advanced in rank and finally took on responsibilities as both a teacher and a leader.
Gandalf the Grey sent word that he has returned from Gondor and may have freelance work available. Therefore, I am currently seeking an opportunity to return to the Shire as a guard, with the intention of reducing work hours, simplifying my life and taking on the occasional, quiet, side gig.