I leave the books behind and go to my room . I cry , as if Chase recently died and isn’t brooding in the room next door . I almost wish he’d die . Seeing him lose his mind feels more painful . At least if he died , I wouldn’t have to be teased by seeing his physical body , because the Chase I adore doesn’t exist anymore. His body is a house that is falling apart, and his mind is a prisoner in the upstairs attic . I have no hope. Still, sometimes, a glimpse of his malnourished body makes me want to violently shake him until the chains holding his mind captive fall free. As if that would work.
–Manic Kingdom: A True Story of Breakdown and Breakthrough by Dr. Erin Stair