“…We’d like to think of “cool” as connotative of something progressive, even radical. But Cool Girls are neither, at least not precisely. We love them because they seem to offer an alternative to the polished, performative femininity visible in both our stars and our peers. Because they “don’t give a shit”; because they don’t truck with the regulations and rules of dating and mean-girling that prove so infuriating. But to be “cool” is to tread a fine line between something different, something almost masculine, but never anything too masculine, or assertive, or independent.
“… would she challenge us to think differently about ourselves or the world? And if — or when — she does, will we still like her so much?
“We dispose of even our most beloved female stars with startling swiftness, changing celebrity best friends the way 7-year-olds switch real ones. The Cool Girl will stay safe, but what does our swift embrace and rejection of its proxies communicate about our standards for women in the actual world?”
“In my 15,870 days I’ve come to realize that putting energy into trying to pretend I’m something I’m not is a waste of my days. I’m flawed and I make mistakes, but more often than not I get it right.”
“…It’s kind of the same way with our never-ending winter, perfectly imperfect in its own way. If nothing else these less-than-desirable days of winter are going to really make us appreciate the more beautiful days of spring and summer.“
“…The existing social system CANNOT offer equality to everyone, it depends on inequality. Offering “equality” to a few token women is not equality. I recognize I am privileged in many ways. I’m white, middle class, have had access to education, and have a supportive family, yet I am not going to apologize for the fact that being disabled puts many barriers in my way that I can’t magically overcome with the powers of inspiration porn. Yet I am constantly bombarded by shit like ” the only disability is a bad attitude,” or told I am “bitter” or “lazy” for acknowledging the fact my illnesses have fucked up my career and life opportunities. Or it is assumed I should throw my weight behind “feminist” campaigns and campaigners who do not acknowledge the difficulties women like me face, that if I don’t, I am being “divisive” and “rude” to challenge why certain strands of feminism claim to be for “all women,” but ignore the voices of so many.”
“Things like Lean In are simple, fluffy faux “solutions” offering a tiny sticky plaster and allowing some tokens to succeed within the same systems that keep even more down. …. It peddles the myth that everyone can succeed if you just “work hard enough” and those that don’t succeed have only themselves to blame, it absolves us of any social responsibility, it places the largest burdens on the weakest shoulders.”