Fox: WOLF! You’re heading straight for the cannon!
Wolf: It’s not my fault! I can’t ride a motorcycle!!
Fox: Wow. He really is awfully brave, isn’t he?
Piranha: Well, yes, In Bolivia we have a name for people like that. We call them “idiots.”
–The Bad Guys (book 3) by Aaron Blabey
Shark: You both need to stop arguing. It’s starting to really UPSET me…
Snake: Warning, schmorning! Do your worst, you dimwitted Hero wannabe!
Wolf: That’s it!
Shark: Don’t do it, Wolf.
Wolf: Too late!
MUNCH!
Snake: Let me out of here right now!
Marmalade: Hey! Did he just eat the snake?
Shark: Aw, I warned you, Wolf!
MUNCH!
Marmalade: And you just ate the wolf!
Wolf: Shark, what do you think you’re doing?! Spit me out!
Shark: No. Not until you can both learn to be friends.
–The Bad Guys (book 3) by Aaron Blabey
Snake: I’ve heard of you! You’re that billionaire mad scientist.
Wolf: Billionaire mad scientist? He’s a guinea pig!
Marmalade: So what?! Just because I’m a guinea pig, I CAN’T BE a billionaire MAD scientist?
Wolf: Oh. Well, no…I supposed you could be…
–The Bad Guys (book 3) by Aaron Blabey
Amazon.com
The Penthouse is perfect, complete with a view. There’s even a terrace with a pool for the crew. Great job, dogs! Our work is all through. Tomorrow we’re off. There’s a new job to do.
–Build, Dogs, Build: A Tall Tail, by James Horvath
Snake: Hey, Many, can we talk about this for a second?
Wolf: There’s no time to talk! Hold on little buddies. It’s time to go BE A HERO!
SWOOSH! SPLAT!
…Piranha: If we survive this, I’m going to eat that wolf.
Snake: Not if I do first.
–The Bad Guys (book 1) by Aaron Blabey
Snake: Are you going to dress up like an old lady AGAIN? It doesn’t work, man. You ALWAYS get caught!
Wolf: Who said anything about me?
[silence]
–The Bad Guys (book 1) by Aaron Blabey
Wolf: We need to be able to SMELL trouble! In fact…wait a second…I think I can smell trouble right now. Wow, it’s really strong, actually. Hang on. That’s not…AW, WHO FARTED?!
–The Bad Guys (book 1) by Aaron Blabey
Wolf: Hey, where are your hats?
Snake: They looked dopey.
Piranha: I don’t really have a head.
Shark: I ate mine.
–The Bad Guys (book 1) by Aaron Blabey
Snake: Hey, shouldn’t you two be in water?
Shark: I’LL BE WHEREVER I WANT. GOT IT?
Piranha: Me too, chico.
Snake: See? This is why I don’t work with fish.
–The Bad Guys (book 1) by Aaron Blabey
BE PREPARED
The first lesson that all cat owners must learn is that…
Cats Hate Baths
For your own safety please repeat this to yourself four thousand eight hundred ninety-three times.
–Bad Kitty Gets a Bath by Nick Bruel