Book Review: Women and Career Decisions

There are a lot of books focused on women in the workplace. Most are written by women who are CEOs, successful entrepreneurs or otherwise well know for their professional achievements. Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds is not that book.

Wander Woman is filled with facts:

What most surprised the managers was that the top-performing women did not stay and fight. These days, strong women take their expertise and knowledge to greener pastures.

Their workplace wish lists rarely state “being promoted” as a prime motivator. Instead, my survey respondents told me they look for (1) frequent new challenges that stretch and grow their ability to achieve; (2) the opportunity to be flexible with their schedule; (3) the chance to collaborate with other high achievers; (4) recognition from their company; and (5) the freedom to be themselves.

And with highly quotable and inspirational statements:

If you want to change how you relate to others and run your life, you have to first transform your concept of self. If you try to change your behavior without first transforming who you think you are, the changes will last a few days until you quit thinking about them.

But the real strength of this book comes from her personal experience. She describes being an overachieving teen who gets into trouble that very nearly destroys (or ends) her life:

I learned one of my greatest life lessons—if you don’t know who you are, you will never be content with what you can do—in one of the darkest places on earth, a jail cell. A year after high school graduation, I ended up spending six months in jail for possession of narcotics, an experience I swore would never happen to me. In truth, the sentence saved my life.

And delves into her struggles as the daughter of a man who was so tied up in his self-imposed identity as a man-who-works that he was unable to handle retirement:

The day the doctors told my father he could no longer work was the day he accepted his death sentence…In my anger for his leaving me, I somehow missed the lesson in my father’s passing. My father could not be a retiree. He could not free himself from the identity of being a successful businessman. When he could no longer hold on to that identity, he quit…When he had to give up his formula for prestige, he gave up his will to survive. I desperately tried to help him see what else he could accomplish if he redefined his goals. I didn’t see that his addiction to achievement was killing him.

There are pages upon pages of down-to-earth realistic advice pulled from the life of a highly-relatable professional woman. Reading it feels like sitting down for coffee or tea with a friend and hashing out the day-to-day frustrations every one of us has to face. I came away with advice that I regularly use:

I choose my work based on what I have defined as my purpose and say “no” to everything else. When I am buried under a to-do list, I prioritize and let some things go with no guilt. My exercise and fun time can’t be compromised. These are the good days.

This isn’t grandiose advice handed down to the masses by a woman who has achieved dizzying heights. It’s perspectives, thoughts and ideas that actually apply to the challenges of daily life, provided by someone who has been through it herself.

Labels and Human Relations

Quote

Amazon.com

“ If you label a woman, you then relate to her as if her identity is defined only by these names. A label reduces a person to one description whether or not she is acting that way in the moment. This makes it difficult for you or anyone else to step out of the stereotype and try on new behaviors.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

Change and Self-Concept

Quote

Amazon.com

“If you want to change how you relate to others and run your life, you have to first transform your concept of self. If you try to change your behavior without first transforming who you think you are, the changes will last a few days until you quit thinking about them.

Before you can control the world around you, you must first master your thoughts and behaviors. Mastery starts with clarifying and expanding your self-concept.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

Know and Protect Thyself

Quote

Amazon.com

“I learned one of my greatest life lessons—if you don’t know who you are, you will never be content with what you can do…

I choose my work based on what I have defined as my purpose and say “no” to everything else. When I am buried under a to-do list, I prioritize and let some things go with no guilt. My exercise and fun time can’t be compromised. These are the good days.

When your need to be regarded as the star keeps you from setting stringent boundaries, you give yourself away too easily. In the end, you burn yourself out or hold resentment for the people who took you up on your offers.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

Strong Women

Quote

Amazon.com

“The results demonstrate that women aren’t becoming more like men. They are becoming stronger as women.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

The Problem with Perfection

Quote

Amazon.com

“Being ordinary was not an option. Yet being extraordinary is an elusive goal: there is always one more thing we can do before claiming the label. For every mountain we climb, there’s another one on the horizon that must be conquered.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

Learning from Mistakes

Quote

Amazon.com

“Kick me down, I’ll bounce back up. But that will never happen again.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

It’s About the Challenge

Quote

Amazon.com

“Give me a stick and I’ll build you a bridge, unless I’ve already done that, so give me a bigger challenge or I’ll move on to something else.

Don’t do me any favors; just applaud me when I’m done.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

What Women Want

Quote

Amazon.com

“What most surprised the managers was that the top-performing women did not stay and fight. These days, strong women take their expertise and knowledge to greener pastures.”

Their workplace wish lists rarely state “being promoted” as a prime motivator. Instead, my survey respondents told me they look for (1) frequent new challenges that stretch and grow their ability to achieve; (2) the opportunity to be flexible with their schedule; (3) the chance to collaborate with other high achievers; (4) recognition from their company; and (5) the freedom to be themselves.

Self-satisfaction seems to be more important to today’s high achievers than the outer trappings of success.

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds

Thriving Problem Solver

Quote

Amazon.com

“I can walk into a situation and see where the holes are and what changes need to be made . . . then I do it. If I have the freedom to do that, I thrive.”

Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction by Marcia Reynolds