Admiration List: Regina Calcaterra

Amazon.com

Regina Calcaterra went from surviving an abusive mother and the foster care system to a career in law and politics. Her life is detailed in the memoir Etched In Sand, which I highly recommend reading.

This woman is a tough survivor who has made the best out of the absolute worst. She is also an excellent example of the fierce loyalty children have toward siblings – and just how positive that bond can be.

Ms. Calcaterra also regularly acts as the keynote speaker at various events and I would love to have the opportunity to attend one of these speeches.

Easily Ignored

Quote

Amazon.com

“…when you live on the fringes of society with no resources, you have no voice and your complaints are easily ignored.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Need a Reason

Quote

Amazon.com

The older I get, the more I’m convinced: I’ve suffered for a reason. It’s a reason I don’t know yet, but for all of my twenty years it’s been circling me—a forecast of something mighty. There’s no way a person could be born into dysfunction, fighting to survive and helping her family do the same, without some purpose to give it all meaning. On the days that feel dark and endless, I make myself a simple promise: I’ll get out of bed in the morning. Then I’ll head up the hill to class. If I put one foot in front of the other, day by day, I’ll move closer to the light at the end of all this struggle.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Political Chess

Quote

Amazon.com

“…the process to alter public policy is like watching a chess game: Sheer strategy and full emotional investment are needed for the most convincing players to win.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Foster Kid Future

Quote

Amazon.com

Deep down I’ve always been aware that I’m just like the forty thousand other foster kids in America who age out of care every year to end up homeless, incarcerated, addicted, or dead.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Why Some Benefit and Others Suffer

Quote

Amazon.com

“We’ll go around the table,” he says, “and I’d like you to tell me why you’re here.” My fellow interns cite their reasons as having relatives in law and politics, and a passion for politics or a political ideology or a commitment to advance a specific public policy. Then the circle reaches me. I think of Rosie, of the money I tuck away to send her every month, of how I’ll never give up trying to rescue her. Then I share my reason for why I’m pursuing this career. “Politics is the allocation of resources,” I tell Professor Chartock. “I want to know who allocates the resources and why some people benefit from them while others suffer.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Truth Will End It

Quote

Amazon.com

I remember a verse I once spotted that Julia had highlighted in her Bible: The truth will set you free. I’ve never been able to forget those words. Even when it hurts, it’s more empowering to know the truth than to stay blind to it. Once I know the truth—and once Paul knows the truth—I’ll be finished. In my life I’ve found that you can’t let something go until it’s really over and it’s never really over until you learn the truth.

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Foster Kid Education

Quote

Amazon.com

The only thing that will get you out of your situation is to stay in school, Regina. I remember Ms. Van Dover’s words, so I perform well on Mrs. Young’s tests and participate not like my life depends on it, but because my life depends on it. I keep to myself during free time so that none of my classmates will ever ask to come to my house. When Mrs. Young sees me reading at recess, she gives me work sheets to practice long division and encourages me to take a stab at the challenge questions in our science books. The more work I have, the safer I feel.”

“I know you’re a foster kid,” Mr. Kelly says after class one day, “but don’t believe what anyone else tells you. There is a way out of your situation: It’s through continuing your education past high school.” Then they both co-opt my guidance counselor to get in on the cause. I feel torn for Camille’s sake. She also wants to go to college, but her senior class guidance counselor told her at the beginning of the year not to bother trying to get into the Fashion Institute of Technology, her dream school. “Concentrate on getting married and having babies,” her counselor told her.”

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra

Vulnerability Costs

Quote

Amazon.com

“When you’re a kid with no one to protect you, everything comes with a price.”

-Etched in Sand by Regina Calcaterra