Shame and Letting Go


It was a familiar crossroads. Every moment of my life before had held the same two paths. And every moment, I’d struggled to choose the one that led to peace. This time, the choice was easy. Nothing was going to keep me from hitting the ground. So I relaxed. And gravity stopped pulling.

This is what it felt like to let go. This was the promise of presence and surrender. It was a vivid, joyous connection to God, for She was the honey and this was the ultimate intimacy. And then, the Earth and I collided. The impact crushed my spinal cord and I was instantly paralyzed from the waist down.

Dancing at the Shame Prom: Sharing the Stories That Kept Us Small by Amy Ferris and Hollye Dexter

From the Introduction:We invite you to join us at the Shame Prom—a place where we wear our ugly dresses, then shed them. Where we parade our shame in public, dance it around on our arm, and take awkward pictures with it. But afterward, we’re not going to roll around in the backseat making out with it. This time, we’re breaking up with Shame and driving off into the sunset, stronger in knowing that we are connected at the deepest, most human level. So put on your tiaras, people. Let’s get this party started.”

“…existing social system…depends on inequality…”


“…The existing social system CANNOT offer equality to everyone, it depends on inequality. Offering “equality” to a few token women is not equality. I recognize I am privileged in many ways. I’m white, middle class, have had access to education, and have a supportive family, yet I am not going to apologize for the fact that being disabled puts many barriers in my way that I can’t magically overcome with the powers of inspiration porn. Yet I am constantly bombarded by shit like ” the only disability is a bad attitude,” or told I am “bitter” or “lazy” for acknowledging the fact my illnesses have fucked up my career and life opportunities. Or it is assumed I should throw my weight behind “feminist” campaigns and campaigners who do not acknowledge the difficulties women like me face, that if I don’t, I am being “divisive” and “rude” to challenge why certain strands of feminism claim to be for “all women,” but ignore the voices of so many.”

“Things like Lean In are simple, fluffy faux “solutions” offering a tiny sticky plaster and allowing some tokens to succeed within the same systems that keep even more down. …. It peddles the myth that everyone can succeed if you just “work hard enough” and those that don’t succeed have only themselves to blame, it absolves us of any social responsibility, it places the largest burdens on the weakest shoulders.”

Leaning In and Falling Over: Failures of Mainstream Feminism, on, by Chloe Miriam